Paul Blart: Smash Bros Cop
by Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus
Summary: Paul Blart ends up at the new mall focused around the Super Smash Brothers. Can he handle all the smashing stress that comes with hanging around these bros?
1. Chapter 1

_Dear Paul Blart... your time at the mall in West Orange, New Jersey, has inspired us. We want you to become part of the Super Smash Brothers organization. All you have to do... is keep track of the newly constructed mall. We would appreciate it immensely.  
_

_Signed, Master Hand._

"...oh yeah!" Paul Blart exclaimed as he was so overjoyed, he could faint. Which he did, because, well, he was fat.

Anyway, as soon as Paul Blart gathered enough things, he headed through a warp portal created on the spot by Master Hand, appearing at the new gigantic mall dedicated to everything related to Smash Bros. Although Paul was taken aback by how many different... creatures populated the place.

"Hoo boy." Paul stated as he rode on his mini scooter, shaking his head as he adjusted his officer mall shirt. "Look at all this, great scott..." He took a good gander at the various different folk, and the various stores populating the mall. "This... is going to be heavy."

The mall cop that proudly went by the name Paul Blart was quite taken aback by just how huge this mall was. The man in charge knew that he would have to bring his endgame since this mall was more fantastical and off the walls than the one of which he was used to back in Jersey.

"This is going to end badly," Arceus said as he was hanging around with a bunch of his fellow friends, sitting just outside a cafe as they were having snacks and drinking different drinks as the Pokemon God watched Paul Blart proudly walk towards the mall.

"What makes you say that?" Gruntilda Winkybunion sarcastically asked as the green witch adjusted her purple scarf, knowing that she didn't need to hear an answer.

"Something about this story seems like it's filler... but then again, isn't that what all fanfiction is?" Space Ghost pointed out as he held a newspaper in his hands, looking through it as he could see a small section of it containing the script for this tale.


	2. Chapter 2

"All right... I have to keep track on this weird place..." Paul Blart stated as he was taking a good glance up and down and all around the new mall. "Lord knows what weird things could occur here..."

Before he realized, Paul Blart was knocked down to the ground by a giant green colored Landmaster that was driven by Ridley, who laughed as he was being chased by the Star Fox team. Paul Blart got back up, only to be knocked down on his back by Bowser Junior, zipping away in his Junior Klown Kar, the seven Koopalings following him in their smaller clown cars.

"Owww..." Paul stated as he placed his right hand on his chest, blinking as he shook his head. "That was... unpleasant..."

"First time here?" Dry Bowser stated as he was munching on his corn flakes, standing near a set of tropical palm trees.

"You could say so, yeah." Paul stated as he nodded his head, being a bit shock at the presence of an undead skeleton, only to go back to falling on his back as a huge fiery explosion shook the mall, of which was so explosive, it could make Michael Bay cry tears of exploding joy. "Ugh... at the rate this is happening, I'm going to be in a wheelchair..."


	3. Chapter 3

Paul Blart took a good look at the Smash Mall, nodding his head as he turned his head, to see Lady Palutena fart loudly. He gawked in disbelief, noticing that Princess Peach Toadstool farted even louder, the two gassy girls trying to see who had the better brassy, deeper pitched tuba toots.

"Man, Peach, you really don't hold back when you pass gas!" Palutena complimented as she fanned the air with her right hand, releasing a wet poot.

Peach giggled as she let out a trombone like fart while taking a bow. "Oh, why thank you Palutena. It's great to know that even a potential newcomer to the flatulent throne like yourself can acknowledge how great the original is."

"...I'm... not sure whether to arrest them for disturbing the peace of the mall..." Paul Blart muttered to himself as he began writing down a mental note. "...or for them being so gross."

Shrugging, the mall cop, Paul Blart, left the scene, leaving Peach and Palutena to continue playing brass gas with their bassy burping butts.


	4. Chapter 4

Paul Blart looked left and right, tiptoeing as much as possible, determined to protect his mall. No matter how big, tall, short, or small the troublemaker was, Paul Blart would be there.

"Damn right," Paul Blart stated as he glanced up at the night sky. "Even if there's a long chapter with more than one thousand words, or a short chapter with just barely one hundred words, nothing will stop me from my journey!"

However, Paul took a sniff of the air as he caught something that caught his eye to the right. M&amp;M's. "Oh... yeah..."

Paul dashed towards the chocolate candies, only to slip on some puddle as he landed on his back, groaning. Toad and Toadette laughed as they were walking together inside the mall, spotting the M&amp;M's as they gasped, holding each others' hands.

"Ooh, you wanna have some M&amp;M's!?" Toad and Toadette simultaneously asked each other as they both gleefully giggled in unison, nodding their heads at the same time. "Do I!?"

The Toads then took the M&amp;M's, with Paul crying his eyes out as he missed out on his sweet source of sugar.


	5. Chapter 5

Paul Blart was going through the Smash Mall as he noticed various items literred around. He sighed as he placed his hands on his hips, shaking his head.

"Don't these guys know how to clean up after themselves?' Paul stated as he zipped over to the mess on his black scooter, accidentally running over a smart bomb, which caused the mall to shake violently.

"Sheesh, did you fart again, Zel?" Link accused Princess Zelda as the two Hyrulians were buying clothes specifically for Toon Link.

"Look, Link, it wasn't me this time, honestly." Zelda snapped back as she blushed, feeling somewhat embarrassed for Link calling her out on passing gas in public.

Paul coughed as he got back up, completely covered in smoke as he put his right hand on his forehead. "That.. was probably not a good idea." He then turned around, screaming as he jumped on his scooter and tried zipping away, as a barrage of red flippers and blue bumpers were suddenly being chucked at him by an unknown force.


	6. Chapter 6

"Phew..." Paul Blart stated as he wiped his forehead, shaking his head. "All this running can make a guy sweat..." He then pulled out a Hershey's chocolate bar, preparing to eat it.

"Is that... chocolate?" Lucario stated as he emerged from behind Paul.

Paul glanced up, his eyes bulging as he gulped. "Oh, uh, no. It's not."

"You're lying!" Doc Louis stated as he dashed into the hallway, pointing at the lardish mall cop. "I know chocolate when I smell it! Gimme that bar!"

"Fat chance!" Paul exclaimed as he then rammed into Doc Louis, scooting away on his black scooter, with Lucario helping Doc Louis up as the two Nintendo characters chased Paul. "I knew I shouldn't have been in this part of town!"


	7. Chapter 7

"Hey!" Paul Blart exclaimed as he chased Dark Pit and Lucas around the Smash mall. "No looting while I'm in charge! Get back here, you punks!"

The well loved obese human male cop rolled on his black stroller as a bunch of Pokemon watched him chase down the troublesome edgy clones, with the Pocket Monsters looking at each other, a bit concerned.

"You think that Paul Blart guy might be taking things... a bit too far?" Vanilluxe spoke up with both of her mouths after twirling around.

Cherrim placed her stubby hands on her face, being in full bloom. "I hope not. He can't afford to snooze on the job."

"I don't recall anyone bringing up his sugar problems," Lumineon added while flapping her big butterfly fins and somehow floating in the air, with them hearing Dark Pit and Lucas painfully moaning in the distance.

"He reminds me of myself from the good old days, when the Comic Book Guy practiced his Sean Connery impressions," Pikachu stated as he held an old gray photo of himself in the Viridian Forest, with the electric mouse Pokemon being much chubbier in the photo due to it being so old.

"Thought you could outsmart Paul Blart, huh?" Paul stated as he was sitting on both Dark Pit and Lucas, causing everyone to glance at the scene and laugh. "Well I don't think so! Better pray that you don't get the Blart fart!"

Toadette farted loudly as a result of giggling over Paul exclaiming 'Blart fart', causing the pink clad mushroom girl to rush off and get her diaper changed, her thunderous tuba toots echoing in the store as people were wondering whether that was Toadette or Paul doing his 'Blart fart'.

"Goodness me, it's a good thing I love farting! Whee!" Toadette somewhat rhymed as she kept on farting, making quite a mess in her stinky diaper.


End file.
